just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Randomize
