My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Randomize
