I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
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