so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
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