Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
