the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
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