would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Randomize
