So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
