theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
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