I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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