Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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