cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
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