I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize