My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
