I hope mine doesn't look like that
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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