Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
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