we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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