Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize