I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
