i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
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You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
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I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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