I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
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