Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
We need to rekindle our bromance
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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