Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Randomize
