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His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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