i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Church boner. Awkwardddd
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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