i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
