I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
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