There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
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