Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
