I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
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