I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Randomize
