Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
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I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
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I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
don't judge my taste in strippers
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
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