Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
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