Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize