His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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