He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
