Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
