I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Randomize
