i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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