**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
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