cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
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you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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