k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
