That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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