Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Randomize