I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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