he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
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