3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
