This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize
