Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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