I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
