Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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