we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
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Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
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Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
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