Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
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