i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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