His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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