so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
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