Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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