State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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