think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
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